Is there a such thing as “too independent??”

Everywhere you look, there has been an increased need to be “independent” or “self sufficient”. There is an increased rise of business majors because everybody wants to be an entrepreneur. No one wants to work for someone else. There are so many different work shops to teach you how to start, run and succeed at growing your own business. Doesn’t that make you ask yourself “Are there too many chiefs and not enough Indians?” In an economy where the middle class has vanished, the new norm is either seeing people on almost every corner with signs held up asking for help or on Instagram with a new boutique, make up “gift” or selling hair just to say they work for themselves. Nobody wants to go to school anymore and run a company. Nobody wants to be a lawyer, doctor or teacher. This generation is not looking to save the world but instead looking to save themselves. Meanwhile, children are lost in the process. What do they have to look forward to? Who do they have to look up to? Mothers are so set on being independent that in the process they forget that only a man can raise a man and only a little girl with a father can be “daddy’s little girl”. We have made being lonely and out for self so familiar that is unfamiliar to allow ourselves to humble ourselves and ask for help and help others in the process. Men are so addicted to “getting money” that they sacrifice being a leader and compromise their children’s need to have them around. We allow cultural norms to tell us that co parenting with step parents and other parents are out of the question and so we raise fatherless sons and daughters and let the courts decide exactly how much our children are worth. All we want is what we want; not what’s best for everyone so instead of getting out and taking others with us, we get out and never look back for fear that someone will pull us back down in the “crab barrel”. Homeless stay homeless, children find their own way while dads send a check and moms work two full time jobs and go to school just to be able to say she did it all for her babies. When is too independent enough? When does it stop being independent and start being selfish? Yes we need chiefs, but who is going to be the Indians? Who will get their hands dirty and be humble enough to ask for help? Who will ask for help, roll up their sleeves and put in the labor to pave way for the next group, child….generation? More importantly, when did it stop being ok to do this; and why?

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