So a lot of people ask me to identify what parts of my book are real and which parts are fake. I honestly think that takes the fun out of the book guys!!! But…what I will say is this book comes from a very real place. I am not ashamed of my past because I honestly feel like my past has made me who I am.
So! In all fairness, I will say that my story of my childhood is told my way. This story, just like many of family secrets, is pretty sensitive for a lot of people to even read let alone comprehend or accept. Being a part of a culture that has always taught you how to hide and keep your business private or not let other people know what’s going on in your household, my book came as a shock to many people and was frowned upon.
In other “cultures” it amazes me how open people can be. Italians don’t believe in therapy. Black people don’t believe in medicine. Mexicans don’t believe in living “flashy” or extreme. Yet, white Americans believe in all of the above and in some sense, they are the ones excelling in today’s society. Is it that we are too stuck in the ways of our oppressed ancestors to fix what is actually broken? I have said so many times before that my purpose is to break the chain of the norm and talk about things that make people uncomfortable. My book started that trend. I want to try something different. Show my kids there is nothing wrong with using your story to help others. Tell the world because at the end of the day it’s your testimony. My family is not where we were twenty years ago and neither am I. So why should I be ashamed of what I have done or what was done to me? In order to grow the first step is to admit (they teach you that in any type o support group). So my goal was not to embarrass my family or just have a story to tell. Healing came with this book and others have been helped and made aware. That’s all I could eve ask for.
So yes! My father was a molester and my family went through hell because of it. I did go through foster care, I was raped at an early age and I danced to provide for my son and I until I could do something else. Through it all…all my insecurities, flaws and trials, I would consider myself a success story. In many ways I beat the odds. Yup I’m still a wreck and I suffer with massive issues at times but who doesn’t. And why should any of us go through that alone? Do you know how many people think they are the only ones feeling what they feel? How many of you read this blog and said “Damn I thought I had it bad?” Right!!!
So the point is not really if all these events happened to me (because they didn’t). The bigger picture is that this can happen to anybody and as happened to many! Think of that the next time you are quick to judge those who is on public display.